Pulling
by BrightlyBeaming
Summary: Not in any AU, and not really in a particular point of time in the series. A demon briefly turned Cas into a woman, and after a mere 24 hours, he was returned to normal. But Cas needs to clear something up with Dean... A one shot. I love reviews.


Dean was flicking through his emails on his phone. He was reading each one carefully. At the end of each email, he glanced at the clock and mentally cursed that time was going so slowly.

The door opened and Cas walked in, pausing to tilt his head at Dean. Dean looked at him and smiled, "So the demon's spell is gone?"

Nodding slowly, Cas moved more into the room, "I am no longer a woman."

Dean said, "Glad to have you back, buddy."

Cas was staring at him. While this normally bothered Dean in a way he never examined, it was doubly more bothersome right now and impossible to ignore.

"Dean?"

Dean's phone felt slick in his hands. "Yep?"

"I hope Charlie didn't make you uncomfortable when she asked you if I was pretty. I was not offended or bothered by my lack of beauty as a woman."

Dean looked sharply at Cas, "You were a beautiful woman, Cas."

Cas tilted his head; his eyes were dark in the dim lighting, and his collar was loose, casting shadows onto his neck. It was oddly distracting, as it had always been. "Then am I a beautiful man?"

Dean gripped his phone hard, willing it to shatter so he did not have to answer. It did not shatter. He did not answer. A slurred "uh" eked out.

Cas's head righted itself and he frowned. He walked to the couch and sat on the coffee table across from Dean. He was frowning, his face intent and studying him. "You are lying to me."

Dean dropped his face to his phone again, "No, I'm not."

Cas nodded, "You are. When I was a woman, you said I looked very much like how I did as a man."

"Just smoother and smaller," Dean echoed his statement from the day before.

"Yes, you said that. Then you said I was a beautiful woman. But I am not beautiful as a man."

Dean stared so intently at his phone that he seemed to notice every pixel now, "I never said you _weren't_…"

Cas frowned very deeply, "Omission is very telling. You told me three things and one of them is not true."

Pixels are very bright, aren't they? Wow.

Cas said, "But I cannot perceive why."

Dean arched his eyebrows and peered sharply at Cas, "What makes you think I'm lying?"

Cas stuck his head forward, "I cannot look very much the same as I did before and not be beautiful as both a woman and a man. It does not make sense. I want you to tell me the truth."

Dean dropped his arms, his mouth pressed tight, scowling, "Then ask me again."

Cas said, "Did I still look like myself, even though I was a woman?"

Dean said, "Yes."

Cas said, "Was I beautiful?"

Dean said, "You were very attractive."

Cas tilted his head again, "Attractive. You did not say that before. It is another word for pulling. Am I an attractive man, then, too?"

Dean's body rushed over with a cold sweat, as if his cells knew what was about to happen. He swallowed and said, "Yes." A shuddering laugh followed and he repeated, "Yes." He sounded relieved, didn't he?

Cas stared at him, "So I was not very different?"

Dean was surprised and… disappointed. Cas really just wanted to make sure he didn't look different. He dropped his head and leaned onto his knees, "No, you were hardly different at all."

"Charlie told me there were things I could do as a woman that I cannot do as a man. I know what she meant, though I do not see why I cannot do them as a man. I once asked Sam how humans choose with whom to do those things. He said they feel a pull and that's how they know." He frowns and looks a little annoyed, "He did not explain it well."

Dean could not lift his head; it felt held down by the weight of the conversation.

"I thought it was a poor word choice when he said it but some time ago I began to see it is most apt."

Dean felt every part of him grow still. Every cell was halted in its work, listening.

Cas said, "I wondered if the _pull_ would feel different as a woman, but it did not. As a woman and a man, I find you pulling."

The air in his lungs was dead and was dragged out only when Dean said, "Oh."

Cas went on, "I want to be close to you."

"We are close." Dean gestured toward Cas, "See? Very close."

Cas said, "It is not close enough. When you put your hand on my shoulder, I feel every part of me _pulled_ to that hand. I do not know how I can be closer to you, and I think you know and I want you to make it happen."

His cells were moving again, all at once, and it seemed deafening. He sat upright again, pressing his hands to his knees, "Closer, huh?"

Dean put his hands on Cas' shoulders. *** if Cas wasn't right, but every part of him seemed to be trying to crawl to his hands to be touching him too. Cas knitted his eyebrows, "I cannot think how to be close enough as every part of me cannot touch you at once."

Dean laughed, suddenly at ease. When Cas lifted his face to question the laugh, Dean leaned forward and kissed him.

Cas did not respond. His mouth was still. When Dean pulled away, he sensed that Cas had not even shut his eyes. Dean chuckled, despite himself. Cas' eyes widened, "Did I do it wrong?"

Dean leaned onto his own knees again, "Cas, you didn't do it at all." He flicked his hand back and forth between them, "You gotta do what I do. Try to follow my m..." he was still nervous, and blinked quickly as he sputtered, "M-mouth with yours." Cas nodded, and Dean leaned forward. Cas was staring intently, and Dean added, "Try closing your eyes." As soon as Cas had done so, Dean kissed him again.

It was much different this time. When Dean moved, so did Cas. Dean reached up to hold Cas' jaw, guiding the tilt of his head. Cas seemed to gasp at the touch, and Dean knew Cas got it.

Cas pulled away, his neck suddenly red. He stammered, "I was closer—for a moment, it was enough—but then it came back!"

Dean held a hand up, expectantly, "Then why'd you stop?"

Cas said, "It felt like you were under my skin."

Dean nodded, "Intense, huh?"

Cas had nothing to say but stared rather hard at Dean, almost glaring. No, he was definitely glaring. Dean said, "What?"

Cas bobbed his head a bit, "Aren't you going to do it again?"

Dean smirked, feeling smug now, "No. If you want to, you do it."

Cas was taken aback and swallowed nervously. Dean waited, leaning on his knees again. Cas leaned forward with great hesitation, halting part way to glare at Dean's grinning face and say, "You close your eyes, too!"

Dean jumped a bit then closed his eyes to appease the nervous angel. Cas' lips were all but trembling when Dean finally felt them again, and Cas quickly pulled away, "I don't know what to do!"

But Dean grabbed Cas by the upper arms, and thrust his arms forward. Dean gruffly said, "Just put your hands on me, Cas."

Cas sulked, "I don't know where."

Dean yanked Cas' arms around, "My shoulders, my hands, my chest—wherever you want!" Then he released him and folded his arms.

Cas continued to stare, his neck a fiery red. Then he smoothed his collar and waved his hand impatiently, "Close your eyes."

Dean did so and waited.

What Dean did not see was Cas hovering his hand over Dean's shoulder only to yank it away, then to awkwardly angle it over Dean's bicep, as if searching for the right spot and failing. Finally Cas put his hand over Dean's knee, hesitating, and then he moved his other hand, and glanced at the waiting Dean. Cas planted both hands on Dean's knees and leaned in.

Dean felt nothing until the electric touch of Cas' hands sent ribbons of chaos up his thighs and into his stomach, and moment later, the crush of Cas' lips against his own. Dean unfolded his arms and grabbed Cas by the back of his biceps. He was done trying to explain—trying to be patient. It was time to learn by doing. He yanked Cas forward, and Cas quickly grabbed hold of Dean's shirtfront to steady himself as he fell forward. Cas moved to stand, in an effort to right himself, but Dean would not permit the kiss to end, and stood with him. Dean's right hand moved to Cas' face again, holding him firmly by the nape of the neck. Cas was forced to turn his head up to compensate for the height difference.

Cas held fast to Dean's shirt, suddenly feeling the pulling need more intensely than ever. He pulled Dean close, flush against himself, but it wasn't enough. Cas reached around to Dean's back, as if willing them to fuse. Dean understood well enough and Cas was surprised when he felt Dean's hands run slowly and roughly down the sides of his ribs and abdomen. Surprised at the satisfaction it gave his pulling need. Further surprised was he when Dean suddenly began to unbutton Cas' shirt front. Every time Dean's hands—burning as they seemed to be—slightly grazed his chest, the pulling need crashed and retreated at the same time, like waves on the shore. It grew more intense as Dean moved down, nearing the final button. Cas broke the kiss as the final button was undone, surprising Dean.

Cas peered intently at Dean's face as he removed the rest of his shirt. Dean had the light of battle in his eyes, and Cas found his own need for combat ignite. Dean saw it too, and his eyes kindled when Cas began to tug Dean's shirt up over his head. The moment it was flung to the floor, Dean was kissing Cas again. Cas ran his hand across Dean's chest, searching for a means to hold him closer, but with the shirt gone, there was nothing but burning skin that twitched and grew taut under his fingers. Dean did as Cas had before and pressed his hands to Cas' back, pushing him against himself. But Cas was not satisfied this time, and did not allow Dean's body to halt the propulsion. Cas shoved Dean to the wall, pinning him there, as he moved away from Dean's mouth and to his jaw.

Dean began to shrink down, for Cas did not realize what those kisses did to Dean's knees. Dean was suddenly tired of standing, and slid to the floor, his back to the wall still, and Cas went with him, his lips migrating down Dean's neck. Dean was breathless with each kiss. Cas was half kneeling, half sitting in front of Dean, between Dean's sprawled out legs. Dean slid his hands down Cas' back, resting them on the waistband of his slacks. Dean absently ran his hands back and forth along the top hem of the waistband and had just slipped his thumbs into the band, when Cas stopped and pulled back.

Cas was flushed and his eyes glittered, almost maliciously. Dean hungered deep in his gut for more of Cas. But Cas stood, more than a little breathless. And Dean knew they would go no further tonight. He dropped his hands to the floor in defeat and acceptance.

Cas was picking up his fallen shirt and pulling it on. He said, "I understand now." He turned, beginning to button, "I know what must happen when I feel the pull to you." He paused, tilting his head again. The glitter of battle was gone and he was tame Cas again. He went on, "I feel it stronger than ever before, even just looking at you."

Dean was still breathless, and almost gasping, replied, "That's because you almost had me." He stood now, catching his shirt as he stood, "But we have time." He shook it out, and pulled it on, aware of how Cas' eyes watched every movement.

Dean grinned at Cas, "Time to have it all."

Cas said, "Yes, and then I will be satisfied."

Dean arched his eyebrow, "Oh Cas, you'll _never_ be satisfied. It'll only get _worse_."

Cas looked alarmed and his mouth opened, almost in protest. But he closed it again and continued to button his shirt.

Dean walked past Cas, "What? Think I'm lying again?"

Dean left the room, and Cas paused as he finished doing up the last button. Cas was clear eyed and breathing harshly, "I know you're not."


End file.
